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Stopping Testosterone

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Wanting to go off T for fertility reasons [May. 15th, 2015|10:12 pm]
Stopping Testosterone

Hi all, as the title states- I am seeking to go off Testosterone, which I have been on for 6.5 years now. I am on Nebido injections which is a slow releasing form of Testosterone, I have one shot every 12 weeks.
My reasons are solely fertility based and I wish to embark on carrying a child if I can.
Can anyone share their experiences of how they went off T after a while? I am toying with going off it cold turkey, but I'm not sure.
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(no subject) [Mar. 21st, 2015|10:09 pm]
Stopping Testosterone

It's been a few months since I first posted here, so I thought I'd add an update. I hope everyone is well.

Physiologically, I stopped applying T-gel in the first week of August 2014, so that's about seven and a half months. I had been on T for just under two years. My face has re-feminised, and beard growth has slowed way down to only really needing to shave about twice a week max (it needed to be every day before) and I expect this will continue to decrease.

My cycle started again six weeks after stopping T, and I haven't noticed anything weird or uncomfortable.  From reading re-transition blogs elsewhere on the tinterwebs, I was warned to expect the first couple of periods to be horrible, but that hasn't been my experience; I had, and regularly used, prescription painkillers for years before starting T and it has been a very welcome surprise to discover that periods have become completely pain-free and relatively easy. I am now 41 and expect that menopause will start doing its thing in a few years from now.

The gender clinic has been very good and is continuing to keep me in its care, and at my last appointment I was told this will continue for probably another couple of years to ensure all is well and stable.

In myself, I feel good. I needed to make this transition to male for my own personal journey, and I have no regrets. The gender clinic keep calling it de-transition, and it feels wrong because "de-transition" feels like going backwards, and it feels like anything but. It might be a medical-model way of describing it, to call it de-transition, so I wish they would be more holistic about it and I'm going to say so.

I'll leave it there for now. I know I haven't said much about my sense of self/social this time, but I'll pick up on this another time. Take care, hoping all goes well with you.
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Hi & intro [Aug. 11th, 2014|11:36 pm]
Stopping Testosterone

Hi, I'm Rowan, 40 / coming up 41, UK, female at birth. I started my transition to male/genderqueer about three years ago, and I've been on T since September 2012. I haven't had any surgery, and I'd been intending to have top surgery about a year from now ... until I realised that I don't actually want it, and from there, it's been realising that I don't want to be on T any more either.  I'm not regretting because I needed to do this, and here is where I'm at.  Finding communities of people in similar retransition journeys and reflections feels helpful right now.

My sense of me is simply me - perhaps non-binary fits; my thing has been androgyny for the last 20 years and if I hadn't done the FTM thing, I'd have been sat there wondering. I felt I needed to come to androgyny from the 'male direction', so to speak. And there's androgyny, and then there's realising there are a whole lot more things I want to explore about experiencing myself as a woman again.

I love what T has done to my voice... and I gather that over time, body hair may well grow more slowly, finer, softer - and that all of this is very individual. As for facial hair, it's not growing in massively but it is noticeable, and as I have dark hair with fair skin, I'm currently wondering about laser and have started researching that.

anyway, look forward to reading, sharing, and thank you for creating this community.
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Post from new user [Jul. 5th, 2014|12:56 pm]
Stopping Testosterone
Hello. I've found this community while strongly considering quitting T therapy. I'm on T since late 2006. I had my breasts removed but I've decided to keep my ovaries and uterus down there. I would like to ask you, especially people who were on T for longer than couple of years, prefereably 6,7,8 years and more, a couple of questions that can't stop thinking about.

1. Did your body shape change drastically after stopping T? My case is quite funny because even after 8 years I look more or less the same. I've got a bit slimmer on T, losing my butt area but I've never been very girlish in shape nor am I very man-looking (but enougt to pass in 100%) If my body reverted to its pre-T shape...I would be fine with it but still I would like to keep what I have to the most possible degree.

2. If you experienced balding/thinning hair...did it grow back and became better in texture/density? I am aware that once it's lost, it's never possible to recover it to juvenile hairline. I used to have long hair for years and I still keep it long. It's still good looking hair but it's receding in temple area and definitely thinner than it used to be in pre-T time. I've always had rather fine hair (but it was a LOT to begin with). To keep it short: did you regrow some? And did the remaining hair gained density/thickness? I am super worried about this

3. Did you experience weight gain or weight loss while being off T? I've always been rather slim and Testosterone made me even slimmer as it cause my butt fat disappear. I don't know what to expect because I'm no longer 20 and metabolism tends to go slower with years. I hope to stay the same but please share your experience.

Thank you very much in advance for any answer

PS. Sorry for any possible typos or mistakes, English is my second language.
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endometrial ablation [Mar. 12th, 2014|12:25 am]
Stopping Testosterone

i'm not on testosterone at the moment for various reasons but i was on for 6 years, and live full time as male / stealth. since being off t eventually bleeding restarted and none of my attempts to stop it (mainly having an IUD inserted) have helped, which has been quite stressful, although i've been coping much better than i did pre-t.

my doctor has been really helpful and she's offered me a referral for endometrial ablation. i was wondering if anybody has undergone this procedure and whether or not it was effective in ceasing bleeding long term? i'd really love to speak to somebody who has been through this experience. i guess i have some reservations as it's a procedure i know very little about.

if people would prefer not to comment here i'm happy for anyone to send me a direct message.


xposted to stopping_t & ftm
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Stopping Testosterone After 12 Years... Need support [Jan. 4th, 2014|07:06 am]
Stopping Testosterone
Hey Guys, I joined today to try to connect with some ftms who were on testosterone, preferably a LONG time, and made a choice to stop T or had to stop T and have been off it. I am experiencing anxiety and ambivalence as to what to do and need some support from others who have been in my situation or similar and understand. I have been on T 12 years now, post op, 31 and juggling some issues about quitting T. I plan to remain living FT as male regardless of hormones but have some reasons I am debating to stop taking them. Can anyone help? open to connecting? I'd really appreciate it. I feel so lost right now
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peri and breast regrowth [Jun. 12th, 2013|11:55 pm]
Stopping Testosterone
i stopped testosterone 9 months ago after 6 years of being on it. i'm not detransitioning and still identify as male and want to keep my body as male looking as possible, but due to medical reasons i was advised to try coming off and at this point i don't really want to go back on.

in the last couple of months or so my chest has been very tender to the touch. i havent paid a huge amount of attention to it and it comes and goes, but isnt always in line with monthly bleeding or anything like that.

i'm starting to worry that i'm experiencing breast regrowth as i feel like my chest is sort of swollen and softer to touch than before. i feel as though i can see my nipples etc through tshirts much more than before, and i'm feeling really paranoid that i'm starting to look like i have little moobs.

i'm stealth in the majority of my life and i'm freaking out that it's going to get worse and i'm going to have to start binding again / pay for surgery again (something i definitely can't afford). i'd been coping quite well being off t until this point, the bleeding stuff hasn't really bothered me and i've had minimal noticable fat redistribution, but this is something i am struggling to stop worrying about.

i was genuinely under the impression that after top surgery the chance of regrowth, even off hormones, was minimal to none - but i'm wondering if that's because people have had DI and not peri, and maybe they didn't remove the gland or whatever that allows my chest to grow. i had surgery at 18 so i'm scared maybe my body had more growth left in it or something and that's happening now. but part of me might just be being paranoid - i'm not really sure at this point.

tl;dr - has anyone who had peri stopped testosterone? did you notice any regrowth? did the regrowth stop quite soon or actually become full breasts? i'm totally freaking out my old chest is just going to grow back, or enough of it to mean i cant feel comfortable in tshirts anymore. i hope not!
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(no subject) [Jun. 28th, 2012|11:09 am]
Stopping Testosterone

Hey everyone,

My name is Kyle and I've been on T for about 3 years now and am 2 years post-op. I've been thinking about stopping for a long time now, and recently decided to do it.

However, I'm finding that I literally am just unable to do it. I tried going down gradually (switched to gel from injections so I could make the process easier) but my body just fell apart. Physically speaking, after two weeks my hands started shaking, I was sleeping all day, my whole body ached. Emotionally, it was a roller coaster. I went from not having cried in three years to crying three to four times a day. Needless to say, I went back to my normal weekly injections.

I'm wondering if you all experienced this, or had any tricks to deal with the roller coaster shifting your hormone balance does to your body? I've seen some people talk about going on birth control to help with their acne after stopping T, could that possibly help with the exhaustion/depression I've experienced when I try to go off? Also, how quickly did you go down on your dose? I'm not telling my doctor that I'm doing this (I know, I know. I should.) so I'm sort of just playing it by how my body responds. Maybe I'm just going too fast.

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post-post-testosterone update [Jun. 21st, 2012|03:11 pm]
Stopping Testosterone

Hi. I'm Jordan. 26, genderqueer trans guy, on T for 7 years 5 months before stopping, no trans surgeries yet. My first post was here http://stopping-t.livejournal.com/25146.html but I got this new journal to document my experiences with not taking testosterone.

Anyway. I've been off of testosterone now for 4 months and 11 days. There have been lots of highs and lows for me as I've transitioned off of testosterone (I've talked about them in my journal). I tapered off of it over about 4 weeks because I was on a weekly low dose. I started noticing physical changes really, really soon after I stopped taking it. I also noticed mental/emotional changes fairly quickly.

Changes since stopping testosterone:

Lost muscle mass & weight (around 15 pounds at this point)
I don't feel as strong physically as I did while on T, especially my upper body
Slight change in the appearance of the shape of my face (My jawline kind of "softened".. probably loss of muscle mass or weight loss or something)
Skin texture softened
Scent changed (way less musky, less strong)
Sweating way less
Acne decreased
Body fat redistributed to down around my hips/thighs/butt
Facial and body hair growing back much more slowly
Tearing up & crying more easily
Hot flashes more frequent
Libido decreased significantly after probably the second month
Started spotting and then had a period at a little over 2 months, and so far having irregular periods
Increased daytime sleepiness / lack of energy
Significantly decreased body dysphoria except for when I'm PMSing
Way happier with how my body looks and feels to me
Happy in general with not being on testosterone

But! I have horrible PMS, specifically really intense, frequent, bothersome mood swings (awful depression, anxiety, fatigue, grumpiness on and off, with happy/hyper/energetic/content times in between) that are really hard for me to deal with (and I'm used to dealing with this sort of thing because my moods are intense and cyclical, swinging back and forth - but not normally to this degree of extremes at this frequency). The mood swings are really the only down-side to being off of testosterone for me, and I think they're mostly rooted in hormonal cycles & fluctuations, because there hasn't been any other major change over the last 4 months that would explain this. Basically, being off of testosterone seems to be exacerbating my madness so it's even harder for me to deal with. It's not even body dysphoria mostly (I'll have body dysphoria for maybe a bunch of days prior to starting my period or spotting, and then maybe for the first day of spotting/my period, then it goes away), it's just general crappy moods.

I was actually planning on restarting testosterone injections 10 days ago when my period ended, but by then I felt way better mood-wise, I felt like "Well, hey, I feel better now, and I probably won't get my period until next month, so I don't totally need to go back on T yet." But then 10 days later (today) I start bleeding again and get really depressed again, more so than I already was (minor things have bugged me lately, but I wasn't super depressed).

I don't think I'm even depressed about getting my period, because having periods again actually has not been a big deal for me at all because the bleeding has been pretty light and the cramps have been manageable with just Black Cohosh, some exercise, and maybe a heating pad, and I'm not hung up on gendering menstruation as I was pre-T. I just get wicked depressed before and at the beginning of my periods.

Has anyone else experienced mood swings like this after going off of testosterone? Did they stop or ease up at least?

I'm not sure as of right now if I'm going to stay off of T or go back on. I'm gonna talk to my therapist, and maybe a gynecologist or something. I just don't know when, or if, my periods will be regular again like they were pre-T because at least if they're regular, I can prepare for the mood swings better.
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What can I expect? [Aug. 17th, 2010|12:26 am]
Stopping Testosterone

I think I'm stopping t, and going back to being femme.

I know that hair thins and grows more slowly, and skin softens and you get curvier, and periods start again.

What happens with breast development if you've already had top surgery? I'm not thinking that you magically go back to how you were, but do you get any sort of regrowth? Does anybody know if this can be enhanced by taking top-up girl hormones?

It sounds as though most of the people on here aren't stopping t for the reasons I might be, but if anybody has any tips, experiences or generally anything useful/supportive to say about retransitioning then I'd love to hear from you (either here, or my journal accepts anonymous comments).
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